Relationship issues - peer support forum

I've been in a relationship with a man for 4 years. It started off centered around drugs as we were both using. Within the first year I ended up losing my family my house my cars and had 8 charges and went to jail for 3 months. After getting out of prison the next two years were filled with drugs, constant arguing as there was so much distrust die to meth psychosis. The most crazy allegations were put on me and I felt like I was losing my spirit completely. In February 2021 my father passed away suddenly due to cancer and I decided to make a change. I moved away got a job was going to NA and started to feel good about my life again. We were still in contact however and I ended back there within 4 months. He promised to stop using drugs get a job and really make an effort in our relationship. Well that didn't happen. He constantly used methadone and pills and had psychosis from all the meth use. So I decided to leave again and packed what I could in my car. He was telling me he could hear people running around inside the house at night and that I had people coming through windows to have sex with me. It was crazy. The morning I left I woke up and noticed both tyres on my car were flat. He had let them down so I couldn't go anywhere. I got in my car and drove to the tyre shop and replaced them. I've been gone only a week and I miss him terribly but I need help because that relationship is so toxic and unhealthy. I really want to just go back and think maybe this time it'll be ok but I know it won't be unless we both get help.

45 years old and single: Why do I always go for men that hurt me? Why am I not interested in normal relationship? If there is no reason, I create one.

In every relationship that means something to me, I face lack of self confidence. I cannot believe that I am also a special human being. I always feel that other are, but never myself.

Every time the same program runs: again it turns out you are not able to stay with a man. Someone like you is no good; any woman is better and more beautiful then you.

Who or what can help me?

I am married for almost 35 years and my partner seems to be a narcissist. I looked that up on the internet and recognized it immediately. After all those years I don't know anymore.

I suggested once to go to a therapist together. But he says: you go to a therapist, you have a problem, I am fine the way I am. I don't know anymore.

Husband non supportive.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer 15yrs ago. Had a masectomy and underwent treatment - 1 pill per day for 5yrs. My husband couldnt deal with my cancer, scared he would "catch cancer". I was very hurt moved out of the bed. I threw myself into retraining and began a new career which I threw myself into totally. I worked hard to pay off our mortage as he had decided to stop working telling me he had been made redundant. This I was to find out this was not true 3 mths later.. I was hurt and angry by the lie.. Through all this 2 of our 4 adult children returned home to live with their children as their relationships had floundered... I/we lived a lie for the next 15yrs. I retired in 2016, sold our house and relocated which I ensured to be mortage free. After 2 yrs I was re-diagnosed with "breast cancer". Lack of support from husband re-began. I began to drink, I became very very angry, hurt and abusive to him.. Our marriage which had been 16yrs of lies faultered badly.. he told our children and grandchildren of my faults, nothing of his part in our disfunctional relationship/sham of a marriage. This year would have been our "legal Golden Anniversary" but been together 54yrs. I have always been the strong one in our relationship, bymy stubbornness we moved into a brand new home at 23yrs with 4 children. I have had to always work to ensure our mortage got paid as he took a number of jobless periods. We have had throughout our marriage had hard, tough times, but we still had love. Mine began to fade over time. We are having time out (3mths this year so far) at this time, he is living with our kids who have taken their fathers side while stating they are not. They are caught in the middle, but this/that annoys me hugely.. I'm in such a precarious state at this time, swinging from - "stay there, dont come back", to "come home lets sort this out" Any advice would be much appreciated.

One month ago I found out via the neighbors that my husband is cheating on me. We are together for 21 years now and somewhere along the way I lost him and I didn't notice. Now I am in a grieving process.

Try to get answers, would like to have his love for me acknowledged and sometimes I'm also angry why did he do this and why didn't he try to solve it together with me.

He is very confused now, angry, sad. Would like to go on with me and look at the future, but I am not ready for that. He cannot support my with my grief and I cannot support him in his sadness because he is so confused. We have a time out now. All tips are welcome.

My partner confessed that he betrayed be. This is in between us now. I find it hard to still trust her. She has not been honest with me for a long time.

But she says that it is over now and that she wants to stay a family with me and our kids. I find it really hard to accept what has happened.

My partner is 15 years older than me and that was so far never a problem, but now that he is over 60, I notice that we are really in a different stage of life.

My partner is thinking about slowly quitting his job, while I am fully enjoying my career now that the kids are bigger and need less care.

I notice we are slowly drifting apart and I share less with him. On the other side I don't want to lose him. I do love him. I just miss the connection with him at the moment. I feel more or less in a split with it.

Who recognizes this and what has helped you?

For years and years I took care.. of my husband, my kids. My husband always lost himself in work and sports and I always accepted that. Now I notice I am completely finished and I don't feel any love towards him anymore.

The point is, that because of that confession, he turned 180 degrees. Suddenly he wants to do everything for me and he realizes how much he failed me. I can almost not believe it.

I would like to believe it, but at this moment I can only feel anger towards him. How do we get out of this?

My story ends well, although I still don't have a relationship.

All relationships ended in trouble for me. In the beginning it was always fun. I found men that, according to myself, were on the same level as me, supported me and my study. I could often move in with them in a beautiful house so that I did not have to work next to my study, we went out for dinner, went on holidays etc.

But after a while the judgments started. I thought they were away from home too much, they were complaining about the expenses I made. They said things like you are selfish, you never think about me, you always push your own wishes through and even you are a borderliner.

Luckily a psychologist did not think so. He was nice to talk to, but I did not get any further. I was still looking for a man that could stay with me and love me and would go through the fire for me.

A friend of mine asked me to go to a relationship therapist. That was possible, also without having a relationship.

There I found out that I was on the wrong track because I was 'searching'. In stead of looking for a man that could love me, I started looking for a man that I could love. With her help, I found out what qualities that man should have, what would be important for me to find in a man.

In the mean time I've had a couple of 'never again' dates, one with a really sweet man. Warm, woolly, relaxed, with many characteristics I like. I go out with him sometimes, but this time I am not going to move in with him immediately.

This time I also have a good time with myself alone in a small rental apartment. I think I could love a man like him and I hope it is the other way around too. If this is so, then it is time to try and live together again.

When our first child was born, my wife had a pastnatal depression. She has a really hard time. I see that and I try to support her to relief her as much as possible. But it doesn't change her depression.

Sometimes she is scared she will do something to our child. And sometimes I cannot even go to work. At work they show a lot of understanding, but I start to feel more and more alone in the relationship. Who has experience in this area as a partner?

My wife has medicines now and also psychological support, but I feel so helpless and lonely in this. I also notice that all the attentions goes to her and that people seem to think I will be fine. That's maybe also my own fault, because I find it hard to ask for help.

Who recognizes this and what has helped?

Nobody knows that my best friend and I have a relationship. It just happened like that. My girlfriend had always known she was a lesbian, she told me only later.

But I am not sure if I am a lesbian. I am also not sure if I want to continue with her. It's all so confusing. I always pictured myself to marry with a man and have children.

When I continue with her, my wish for children cannot come true, I think. I don't dare to talk about my relationship with anybody, because my friends and family are not so positive about homosexual relationships. But my girlfriend wants to 'come out' and puts pressure on me. Now she is waiting for me. What should I do?

I am a 36 year old woman, married and I have an affair with a woman. Nobody can know and nobody knows!

First we were just friends but that changed and now she means everything to me. I never thought I would end up in an extramarital relationship. I also never thought of myself as a lesbian. Although it never really worked out with sex for me. What a difference with the sex I experience with my girlfriend.

Nobody knows how torn apart I feel inside, I feel so lonely and misunderstood. Is there anybody that understands me?

I cannot break up with her, she is everything to me. But I also cannot go on like this. I cannot imagine I will ever come out to family about this. Not possible. Never. They will not accept it.

I am stuck in this situation. What should I do?