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Bereavement, grief, loss - peer support forum

 

Bereavement, grief, loss

Do you suffer from bereavement, grief, loss?

 

For a lot of people it's helpful to write down and share their story. This open forum is a great place for:

 

  • Getting things off your chest.
  • Reading the stories of peers.
  • Connecting with peers and responding to stories.

 

Read the stories of other people with feelings of bereavement, grief and loss and share your story.

 

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Story 1 - More and more I feel the emptiness

Years ago my wife passed away. Over the years it has become more difficult for me. More and more I feel the emptiness she has left behind.

The people close to me don't know anything about this. In the beginning I received some help from them, but as time goes by everyone seems to assume I'm fine.


Anonymous

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Dear Anonymous

I can understand a little the situation you are in. A bit more than six months ago I lost my best friends (23 years old, we were best friends since we were 10) In the beginning I still got a lot of support from friends & family, but now I start to feel alone.

A few weeks ago it was his birthday and I can honestly say that I have never felt so alone before. As time goes by the feelings seems to get worse.

I can not really start to share about it with family and friends. I have the idea they will think I am wining. The one person I trusted to talk about personal things has died and the more time passes the more I notice this.
I hope you have found a way or an outlet by now.

I would love to hear some tips on how I can get over this a little bit.

Warm greetings,


D W
Reply:

I can feel with you so much. I have the exact same experience with people in my surrounding also from church ask only now and than how I am doing. My husband died 1,5 years ago from a heart attack. I cannot walk so well. So I didn't just lose my buddy, but also my caretaker. My husband supported me a lot. So I know what you're going though. I wish you strength!


Els
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My husband died just about a year ago. In the beginning you are lived, there is much to take care of and it doesn't really sink in yet that he NEVER is coming back.

In the morning when you wake up everything falls on you, it is a feeling of pain. Life is never going to be the same again and a part of you is missing.

Indeed many people think now, also family, a year ago, the pain will have become less by now, but for me it only gets worse.

I was just watching television and I saw about this website. I am already happy I could write my story down now.
Much luck.


Anonymous
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Hello Els, well we share a lot and I also have a physical disability and yes also my husband supported me a lot. I have someone to clean the house but they are not allowed to do much and it creates gossiping, I live in a small town.


Jenny

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Story 2 - I miss my mother

After my mother died, I suffered from intense sadness. I still cannot say that time heals. When I think of my mother and her fight against her illness and how we found her, I still get the shivers.

I felt the need to talk about it, but I have the feeling that people around me don't share that need or even avoid me. Maybe they are scared that I get emotional. Sometimes that happens, but not always.

So I cry secretly, alone. This makes me feel relaxed again afterwards.

I feel that I miss her in my whole body. Sometimes I do not know how to manage without her. Other moments I feel good again, because I know that she is proud of me and on how I am doing.

I would like to feel more joy again, but there are so many things that remind me of her.


Anonymous

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I recognize so much... I found my mum dead in her bed (after two days) and within 2 years after that I lost my husband. We were married for almost 50 years. I miss them both tremendously and I cry a lot (but only when I am alone)

So the outside world thinks I am doing fine and I manage, but it is not the truth. Now I ask myself, how can I make this last part of my life pleasurable. I am 72 years old!


Hanny

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Story 3 - I miss him terribly

A year ago, my husband, after 52 years of marriage, has died.

I miss him terribly and it seems like the loss is getting bigger and bigger. In the beginning it is like you are lived and there is so much to arrange that you don't really get it yet. But now the realization that he will NEVER come back is sometimes so big that it just hurts!

A part of yourself is gone! And still we have to go on, this is what he also said and wanted, but it is so hard.

Good to write down how I feel here and maybe there will be a reply.

Best rgds.
Anonymous.


Anonymous

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I lost my husband in august 2016, after years of fighting dementia and Parkinsons. 4 months more and we would have been married for 50 years. Your story could have been mine.

The outside world things you do fine, but the loss and the pain never grows on you. The triggers that you think he might just walk in are countless. Everything reminds me of him and the loss feels bigger and bigger.

I wish you strength and I wish this also still for myself


Hanny
Reply:

What a story... you can tell that the loss is very big for you, we actually never miss somebody who is dear to us.

I lost my dear wife myself two years ago, she was only 52 years old. Death at such an early age is so hard to understand! To ask why is not so useful.

But I realize we are still alive and that life, also after a great loss, is still worth living. Try to be proud about the way you have dealt with a misfortune like this, to call it like that. Lots of strength.


Gert

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Story 4 - More and more I feel the emptiness

My wife died years ago. In the beginning I managed quite well to pick up my life again. But over the years it gets harder. I feel more and more the emptiness that she has left behind.

People around me don´t really know. In the beginning I got support, but after a while everybody thought that I was fine.


Anonymous

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Story 5 - I miss my mother

I miss my mother

When my mother died I felt immensely sad. I still cannot say that time heals, when I think about my mother and how she fought her disease and how we found her... I get the shivers.

I feel the need to talk, but I have the idea that the people around me do not share that need or even avoid me. Maybe they are afraid I get emotional. Sometimes that is so, but not always.

So I cry secretly, alone. When I do that, I can relax again.

I feel I miss her in my whole body. Sometimes I don´t know how I can do without her.
And other moments I feel fine, because I know that she is proud of me and how I am doing.

I would like to feel more joy again, but there are so many things that remind me of her.


Anonymous

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I miss my mum so much too. Some days are harder than others. I too cry alone by myself. Mainly because I don't want to upset anyone else? I have a really supportive partner who has also lost a parent so I know she understands, but I also don't want to upset her or remind her about her loss speaking about my loss. I just feel really lost. My mum was such a lovely person and I don't think she's truly "gone"but I feel like I've lost a huge part of who I am.


Casey

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