I miss my mother

After my mother died, I suffered from intense sadness. I still cannot say that time heals. When I think of my mother and her fight against her illness and how we found her, I still get the shivers.

I felt the need to talk about it, but I have the feeling that people around me don't share that need or even avoid me. Maybe they are scared that I get emotional. Sometimes that happens, but not always.

So I cry secretly, alone. This makes me feel relaxed again afterwards.

I feel that I miss her in my whole body. Sometimes I do not know how to manage without her. Other moments I feel good again, because I know that she is proud of me and on how I am doing.

I would like to feel more joy again, but there are so many things that remind me of her.