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Communication issues - Tips



Tips for coping with communication issues

Would you like some tips and advice how to deal with communication issues?

This forum is a great place to:

 

  • explore several tips.
  • respond to tips / share your experience.
  • share the tips that work for you.

 

What's your tip how to deal with communication issues?


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Tip 1 - Communicate open and clear

Communicate open and clear your opinion and what you would like.

Don't turn around it and don't cover it up. Don't work with hidden agenda's or strategies. Be open, honest, real.

Then the other person one knows what he or she is up to and can respond to what you really think.


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Tip 2 - Do you want contact or do you want to be right?

In communication it is often about power, who is right and who is wrong?

Consider: do I want to be right or do I want to be in contact?


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Tip 3 - Practice to say no

Do you tend to always say yes to requests from others, because you want to please, while actually you do not want to? Then it is good to practice saying no and make space for something you do want.

Learn to say "no". Saying no doesn't have to be hard. You can always ask for time to think about it when you feel overwhelmed by a request from a colleague/ friend/ family member/ acquaintance/ .....

You do not have to make up excuses when you say no. Many people tend to cover their 'no' with excuses, little lies, or falsehoods. Keep it open and simple. If you don't feel like it or don't have time for it, you can simply say that.

The "broken recordplayer method" is very convenient when you have said no, but the other one is insisting. The only thing you have to do in this method, is to repeat your 'no' and the motivation for it. Like a recordplayer that is broken and keeps repeating the same part. This way you do not get seduced to discussions or making excuses.

Set your limit when somebody crosses them. You are the only one that can feel where your limit is.

When you don't allow yourself to say 'no', this can give you a lot of stress and tension.


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Tip 4 - Also consider the nonverbal communication

Also consider the nonverbal communication of the person you are talking to. Check for example the body language:

- Is the posture open or closed
- How does the other move?
- Is he/she looking you in the eyes or not?
- Is the other hasty or relaxed?
- etc.


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Tip 5 - Be open and curious without judgments

Many fights and misunderstandings are caused, by thinking we know what the other person means and we stop listening what the other is saying. We presume our interpretations are right, which does not support a good communication.

An open, curious attitude without judgments is important when you honestly want to communicate with the other. So:

1. Listen attentively, without judgments

2. Ask questions, and...

3. If needed, repeat in your own words to check if you have understood the other well.


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Tip 6 - Share your story

For many people it helps to write down and share their story with others. You can share your story on the communication-issues-peer-support-forum on this website.


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Tip 7 - Make sure to talk about the relationship

In interpersonal communication, the relationship level is just as important as the content level. In general, problems and conflicts are more on the relationship level then the content level. (Watzalawick)

It is important to be aware on that, so that you do not just talk about the facts, but also about the relating!



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