Communication issues - Tips
Tips for coping with communication issues
Would you like some tips and advice how to deal with communication issues?
This forum is a great place to explore several tips.
Looking for more support?
Overview of tips
All tips
Tip 1 - Do you want contact or do you want to be right?
In communication it is often about power, who is right and who is wrong?
Consider: do I want to be right or do I want to be in contact?
Tip 2 - Practice to say no
Do you tend to always say yes to requests from others, because you want to please, while actually you do not want to? Then it is good to practice saying no and make space for something you do want.
Learn to say "no". Saying no doesn't have to be hard. You can always ask for time to think about it when you feel overwhelmed by a request from a colleague/ friend/ family member/ acquaintance/ .....
You do not have to make up excuses when you say no. Many people tend to cover their 'no' with excuses, little lies, or falsehoods. Keep it open and simple. If you don't feel like it or don't have time for it, you can simply say that.
The "broken recordplayer method" is very convenient when you have said no, but the other one is insisting. The only thing you have to do in this method, is to repeat your 'no' and the motivation for it. Like a recordplayer that is broken and keeps repeating the same part. This way you do not get seduced to discussions or making excuses.
Set your limit when somebody crosses them. You are the only one that can feel where your limit is.
When you don't allow yourself to say 'no', this can give you a lot of stress and tension.
Tip 3 - Also consider the nonverbal communication
Also consider the nonverbal communication of the person you are talking to. Check for example the body language:
- Is the posture open or closed
- How does the other move?
- Is he/she looking you in the eyes or not?
- Is the other hasty or relaxed?
- etc.
Tip 4 - Communicate open and clear
Communicate open and clear your opinion and what you would like.
Don't turn around it and don't cover it up. Don't work with hidden agenda's or strategies. Be open, honest, real.
Then the other person one knows what he or she is up to and can respond to what you really think.
Tip 5 - Be open and curious without judgments
Many fights and misunderstandings are caused, by thinking we know what the other person means and we stop listening what the other is saying. We presume our interpretations are right, which does not support a good communication.
An open, curious attitude without judgments is important when you honestly want to communicate with the other. So:
1. Listen attentively, without judgments
2. Ask questions, and...
3. If needed, repeat in your own words to check if you have understood the other well.
Tip 6 - Make sure to talk about the relationship
In interpersonal communication, the relationship level is just as important as the content level. In general, problems and conflicts are more on the relationship level then the content level. (Watzalawick)
It is important to be aware on that, so that you do not just talk about the facts, but also about the relating!
Tip 7 - Tip 10 - Cultivate Patience and Understanding
Patience enables you to listen more effectively and respond with empathy, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings. It helps you appreciate the nuances of your partner's perspective, even when it differs from your own. Understanding that growth and change take time can alleviate pressure and foster a more supportive environment. Practicing patience not only strengthens your bond but also creates a nurturing space for both partners to thrive individually and together.
If you'd like to work on your communication with me then feel free to reach out.
Tip 8 - Focus on Solutions, Not Problems
Prioritising solutions over problems creates a positive and proactive environment. It encourages both partners to contribute to the relationship's growth and success. This approach helps to move past the blame game and fosters a sense of shared responsibility. By focusing on solutions, you create opportunities for growth and improvement, making the relationship stronger and more resilient in the face of future challenges.
Tip 9 - Listen Actively and Empathetically
Tip 10 - Establish and Respect Boundaries
Tip 11 - Use "I" Statements to Express Yourself
Tip 12 - Clarify and reflect back
Additionally, reflecting back can create an opportunity for the other person to elaborate or correct any misunderstandings before they cause frustration. It also fosters a deeper level of connection because the other person feels genuinely heard and understood. This technique helps build trust, minimizes miscommunication, and leads to more effective, solution-focused conversations.
Add your own tip
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