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Confidence, insecurity, self esteem - Tips


Tips for coping with insecurity and low self esteem

Would you like some tips and advice on how to deal with lack of confidence, insecurity, low self esteem?

This forum is a great place to:

 

  • explore several tips.
  • share the tips that work for you.

 

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Tip 1 - Listen to what the insecure part of you wants to tell you

We all have different parts in us (sub personalities). Those different parts do not always agree with each other. For example on one side you want this, but on the other side you want something else.

Like this there are parts in you that are insecure. Also these parts have good intentions and often want to protect you.

In the past, this part was maybe very useful, but right now it is probably more like a burden.

Listen to what this insecure part of you wants to tell you and connect with it again. Accept in a loving way that this part is there and allow it to be there. When this part feels heard and acknowledged, then there is space for change.


Anoniem

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Tip 2 - See it in perspective and work on your self-esteem

See it in perspective and work on your self-esteem.

Nobody can be the best, funniest, smartest and prettiest. Also you not. Don't expect that from yourself.

Maybe you're not the best, funniest, smartest or prettiest, but you are unique with a lot of qualities and definitely worthwhile!


Therapycounselling

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Tip 3 - 9 benefits of high self worth

And now the 9 benefits of high self worth:

1. Clarity about what you deserve and what you will and will not tolerate.

2. Inner strength to act on that clarity in appropriate ways.

3. Courage to move beyond fear and make whatever internal and external changes are required.

4. Willingness to grow and change.

5. Self honesty and the ability to take constructive feedback and learn from it.

6. Ability to let go and forgive.

7. Self responsibility

8. Focus on what is possible.

9. Strong sense of self and authenticity.

There are others I could mention, such as greater initiative and resilience, willingness to take risks, genuine humility, an open heart, but the 9 I have listed come can always be seen in relationships and they make such a huge difference to healing and transforming a relationship.


Anoniem

4

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Tip 4 - Keep a positivity diary

Keep a positivity diary in which, each day, you will write down something positive you have done or something positive that happened to you that day.


Therapycounselling

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Tip 5 - Deal with your avoidance

This is how you can deal with avoidance due to fear of failure:

1. Create modest, reasonable goals


2. Work with the 'ten-minutes-tric': set an alarm for ten minutes to work on your goals. That seems like hardly anything, but is actually a lot when you have postponed it for months.


3. Work in short time blocks. This way you stay creative and efficient.


4. Don't fall into the trap of blaming yourself. It can be an excuse to not do something because you are anyway 'not good enough'.


Anoniem

3

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Tip 6 - Explore and recognise your qualities

What are your qualities? When we experience difficulties and we don't know how to go about, we often forget what we are good at.

Do you know what you are good at? How can you use those qualities to solve the difficulties you are dealing with?

 

Explore and recognise your qualities.


Anoniem

3

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Tip 7 - Think and act greater than how you feel

"When feelings become the means of thinking, or if we cannot think greater than how we feel, we can never change. To change is to think greater than how we feel. To change is to act greater than the familiar feelings of the memorized self."

 

(In Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Dr Joe Dispenza)



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Tip 8 - A sincere apology is a sign of maturity

Did you know that low self-esteem can make it difficult to apologize? When we aren't confident in who we are, an apology seems like a sign of weakness.

But the truth is, people with high self-esteem more readily apologize, and apologizing can actually enhance your self-esteem. People generally respect a person more who is willing to take responsibility for his/her own failures. As people begin to respect and admire you more and more, then you start to feel better about yourself.


On the other hand, those who try to hide or excuse wrong behavior will almost always lose the respect and affirmation of others.

A sincere apology is always a sign of maturity, not a sign of weakness. Apology opens the door to forgiveness. And forgiveness means that we can continue to grow in our relationship. It's never too late to learn to apologize.


(From the author of the 5 Love languages)



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Tip 9 - Never be afraid to sing your song

We are all unique and precious. We all have a story that belongs only to us and yet is the treasury of human life on Earth.

 

You have something to say and something to contribute.

Never be afraid to sing your song.


Anoniem

3

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Tip 10 - Build your sense of self instead of judging yourself

Instead of trying to raise your self-esteem, try to move away from judging yourself.

Instead, focus towards on building a sense of self that you're proud of. That means focus on clarifying your values, beliefs, preferences, hopes and dreams.

Get to know who YOU are and create that person.

Build your sense of self instead of judging yourself and watch your self-esteem soar.


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Tip 11 - Find a counsellor

Are your experiencing lack of confidence, insecurity or low self esteem and could you use some support?
therapist or counsellor can help you.


Therapycounselling

2

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Tip 12 - Strengthen your sense of self

Strengthen your sense of self

When you want to upgrade your self esteem, work from outside to inside. So start with your outside. Where something that gives you the feeling you look good.

Look at yourself in the mirror. You have to be the one that is satisfied, that's the point. You will see how fast this will have an effect. And not only for women...


Jeanette

2

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Tip 13 - Do a relaxation exercise

When you feel fear (of failure), do a relaxation exercise. By relaxing, your fear will increase. A relaxation exercise can get a different form or shape depending on the place or the person.


Therapycounselling

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Tip 14 - Use ISMART goals to build confidence

To effectively boost your confidence and self-esteem, set iSMART goals—goals that are Inspirational, Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. The "Inspirational" aspect ensures your goal is personally meaningful and motivating, which helps you stay committed even when challenges arise. For example, rather than simply aiming to "exercise more," an iSMART goal might be: "I will run 3 kilometers every morning for the next four weeks to feel energized and improve my physical and mental well-being." This gives you a purpose that inspires you, while keeping the goal clear and actionable.

Incorporating the iSMART framework ensures that your goals not only motivate you but are also practical and trackable. With measurable milestones and a time-bound structure, you can clearly see your progress, which builds confidence with each step. As you achieve these inspirational goals, you reinforce your belief in your abilities, which steadily strengthens your sense of self-worth and security. This method turns the process of goal-setting into a confidence-building journey with meaningful outcomes.



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