Husband non supportive

Husband non supportive.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer 15yrs ago. Had a masectomy and underwent treatment - 1 pill per day for 5yrs. My husband couldnt deal with my cancer, scared he would "catch cancer". I was very hurt moved out of the bed. I threw myself into retraining and began a new career which I threw myself into totally. I worked hard to pay off our mortage as he had decided to stop working telling me he had been made redundant. This I was to find out this was not true 3 mths later.. I was hurt and angry by the lie.. Through all this 2 of our 4 adult children returned home to live with their children as their relationships had floundered... I/we lived a lie for the next 15yrs. I retired in 2016, sold our house and relocated which I ensured to be mortage free. After 2 yrs I was re-diagnosed with "breast cancer". Lack of support from husband re-began. I began to drink, I became very very angry, hurt and abusive to him.. Our marriage which had been 16yrs of lies faultered badly.. he told our children and grandchildren of my faults, nothing of his part in our disfunctional relationship/sham of a marriage. This year would have been our "legal Golden Anniversary" but been together 54yrs. I have always been the strong one in our relationship, bymy stubbornness we moved into a brand new home at 23yrs with 4 children. I have had to always work to ensure our mortage got paid as he took a number of jobless periods. We have had throughout our marriage had hard, tough times, but we still had love. Mine began to fade over time. We are having time out (3mths this year so far) at this time, he is living with our kids who have taken their fathers side while stating they are not. They are caught in the middle, but this/that annoys me hugely.. I'm in such a precarious state at this time, swinging from - "stay there, dont come back", to "come home lets sort this out" Any advice would be much appreciated.