Therapycounselling
Network of therapists
and counsellors in NZ
Therapycounselling

Confidence, insecurity, self esteem - Tips



Tips for coping with insecurity and low self esteem

Would you like some tips and advice on how to deal with lack of confidence, insecurity, low self esteem?

This forum is a great place to:

 

  • explore several tips.
  • respond to tips / share your experience.
  • share the tips that work for you.

 

What's your tip how to deal with lack of confidence, insecurity, low self esteem?


+ add tip




Tip 1 - Get moving and take action

Get moving! If you want change, you will have to do something for it. If you keep doing what you always did, you will get the same results. So you will have to do something else.

Fear of failure can freeze you, which makes it hard to take steps in a different direction. But when you don't take steps, you maintain the situation you don't like.

So get moving and take action!


Therapycounselling

3

share this tip

Tip 2 - Practice mindfulness

Practice mindfulness.
Look with a mild, gentle and friendly attention to your fears.

Accept that fear is there, without identifying with it. You are not the fear, you have the fear.

By approaching yourself and your fears in a gentle manner, you can relax deeper and then your fear can become soft too.


Therapycounselling

3

share this tip

Tip 3 - Try out self-approval

When a lifetime of self-criticism did not help you, give self-approval a try and see what happens


Byron Katie

3

share this tip

Tip 4 - See it in perspective and work on your self-esteem

See it in perspective and work on your self-esteem.

Nobody can be the best, funniest, smartest and prettiest. Also you not. Don't expect that from yourself.

Maybe you're not the best, funniest, smartest or prettiest, but you are unique with a lot of qualities and definitely worthwhile!


Therapycounselling

3

share this tip

Tip 5 - Keep a positivity diary

Keep a positivity diary in which, each day, you will write down something positive you have done or something positive that happened to you that day.


Therapycounselling

2

share this tip

Tip 6 - Visualize what you want

Visualize what you do want.

Visualize how you want to be in certain situations, how you want to think, how you want to feel and how you want to act.

Think of a certain current situation where you often feel insecure. And visualize how you would want to feel. Imagine it vividly and try to really feel and experience it.

You are then practicing, in your mind and with your emotions, and you are preparing your body for this situation. You are creating new possibilities.

When the situation presents itself again in the future you have created a new framework, with which you feel differently, you think differently and you act differently.


Therapycounselling

2

share this tip

Tip 7 - Deal with your avoidance

This is how you can deal with avoidance due to fear of failure:

1. Create modest, reasonable goals
2. Work with the 'ten-minutes-tric': set an alarm for ten minutes to work on your goals. That seems like hardly anything, but is actually a lot when you have postponed it for months.
3. Work in short time blocks. This way you stay creative and efficient.
4. Don't fall into the trap of blaming yourself. It can be an excuse to not do something because you are anyway 'not good enough'.


Therapycounselling

2

share this tip

Tip 8 - Listen to what the insecure part of you wants to tell you

We all have different parts in us (sub personalities). Those different parts do not always agree with each other. For example on one side you want this, but on the other side you want something else.

Like this there are parts in you that are insecure. Also these parts have good intentions and often want to protect you.

In the past, this part was maybe very useful, but right now it is probably more like a burden.

Listen to what this insecure part of you wants to tell you and connect with it again. Accept in a loving way that this part is there and allow it to be there. When this part feels heard and acknowledged, then there is space for change.


Therapycounselling

2

share this tip

Tip 9 - You know what you are good at?

What are your qualities? When we experience difficulties and we don't know how to go about, we often forget what we are good at.

Do you know what you are good at? How can you use those qualities to solve the difficulties you are dealing with?


Therapycounselling

2

share this tip

Tip 10 - Share your story

For many people it helps to write down and share their story with others. You can share your story on the confidence-insecurity-self-esteem-peer-support-forum on this website.


Therapycounselling

1

share this tip

Tip 11 - Find a counsellor

Are your experiencing lack of confidence, insecurity or low self esteem and could you use some support?
therapist or counsellor can help you.


Therapycounselling

1

share this tip

Tip 12 - Do a relaxation exercise

When you feel fear (of failure), do a relaxation exercise. By relaxing, your fear will increase. A relaxation exercise can get a different form or shape depending on the place or the person.


Therapycounselling

1

share this tip

Tip 13 - I never did it, so I can do it!

The other day I read a great slogan for people that are afraid they are not able to do something they never did before:

Think like Pippi Longstocking that often said: "I never did it before, so I can do it!" And that girl was super good and strong, right?!


Jackie

1

share this tip

Tip 14 - Strengthen your sense of self

Strengthen your sense of self

When you want to upgrade your self esteem, work from outside to inside. So start with your outside. Where something that gives you the feeling you look good.

Look at yourself in the mirror. You have to be the one that is satisfied, that's the point. You will see how fast this will have an effect. And not only for women...


Jeanette

1

share this tip

Tip 15 - Adjust your attitude

Are you insecure when you enter a room with a lot of unfamiliar people?

For example when you go to a workshop, meeting or party. Do you think they are judging you on your appearance or prestige? Are you insecure, looking around for some eye contact or confirmation and are you hesitant to join a person or a group?

TURN IT AROUND!

Enter the room with your chin up, take a look around at the people to find out who you think is friendly, worthwhile or interesting enough to talk to. Immediately walk towards that person, introduce yourself or shortly say hello.

Realize that it is not needed to have a conversation right a way. Is there nobody you would like to talk to?

Then go and stand on your own next to a table in the following posture: eyes focused a bit upwards, chin slightly up, shoulders hanging loosely down, pelvis pulled a bit inwards, toes slightly pointed outwards.

Stand and feel the ground firmly under your feet. While you stand like that, let your eyes go over the people, relaxed and nonchalant. Or you find an interesting spot just above eye level and look at it attentively. There's a good chance that somebody will come to you and introduces himself! Good luck!


Jackie

1

share this tip


Do you want to share your tip?

+ add tip



Find a counsellor

© Therapycounselling.net - NZ Counselling, Psychologist, Life Coaching & Psychotherapy New Zealand
| Disclaimer | Reviews | Login |