I have no idea who I am anymore

All my life I adjusted myself so much, that by now I have no idea anymore who I really am, what I long for etc. I got more and more distance to myself and I got depressed feelings.

I always thought that if I would behave like the other wants it, or how I thought the other would like it, then they will like me and they will let me stay around.

By now I found out that it is the other way around. That my opinion and willpower is appreciated.

I am over 50 and I notice its a big challenge to find my self back, but I am defenitely going to take the challenge.