A practical assignment helped me

Insecurity, something that I had to deal with a lot outside my house. As a child I was bullied. They were always keeping an eye on me, the bullies, so that they could get me with what hurt me the most, and the teachers to help me.

It caused a lot of hindrances on the social level, as well with going out as with enjoying work. I always wanted to be invisible. For many problems I am still in therapy.

One problem really got much better: the insecurity when I enter a room where there are already people. I was always sure that everybody was looking at me as soon as I entered the door. That I would be judged and especially be judged as weird or unwanted.

I got a very practical assignment: when I would enter a room, I would not look around to see how people respond to me and what they would think of me. No, I would use a certain posture (that I practiced), walk in the room, look around and focus on who would be interesting, nice or important for me.

I would go to that person and introduce myself. I would be aware on my handshake, eye contact, how I put my feet, my back, my shoulders and my chin. There would be good chances that I would get into a conversation and that other people would also start to talk to me. And guess what... it worked!

By now, I got over this inhibition and I go out regularly, both private as for work, without a fearful beating heart and without cancelling the last minute with some excuse. I met a lot of nice people because of this.